April 8, 2013
Dads. Complicated issue. Maybe it takes a generation of bad fathers to make the next generation ten times better. I hope that’s the case most of the time. It is in my husband’s case and my brothers. Yes, things were different back then, but some things remain the same. Being a parent isn’t something you can skip out on, although plenty of fathers do. It takes work. Lot’s of work. A life long job. I wish we could revoke the “father” name to those that don’t deserve it, make it all legal like a divorce.
What is it about having a baby that makes people feel like they have a right to be in our life?
What is it about divorcing with kids that makes a father feel like he no longer needs to support his kids financially and emotionally?
After a grueling weekend with my father in law I’ve come to realize a couple of things. We don’t owe our absentee fathers anything.
But at the end of the day, actions always speak louder than words.
So I give credit to the fathers that come around in their own way and make an effort (my father in law is one). That goes a long way in my book. Still, it’s not a perfect system because those fathers, who were not there as fathers should be growing up, become strangers. And although I can stand back and applauded the effort and appreciate the sentiment that some fathers take late in life- trying to be better and all-it doesn’t guarantee that we will like you. The penalty of not being there when we were young is that we will not be there for when you are old. Being there is what family does, blood or not.
Dads. Complicated issue. Maybe it takes a generation of bad fathers to make the next generation ten times better. I hope that’s the case most of the time. It is in my husband’s case and my brothers. Yes, things were different back then, but some things remain the same. Being a parent isn’t something you can skip out on, although plenty of fathers do. It takes work. Lot’s of work. A life long job. I wish we could revoke the “father” name to those that don’t deserve it, make it all legal like a divorce.
What is it about having a baby that makes people feel like they have a right to be in our life?
What is it about divorcing with kids that makes a father feel like he no longer needs to support his kids financially and emotionally?
After a grueling weekend with my father in law I’ve come to realize a couple of things. We don’t owe our absentee fathers anything.
But at the end of the day, actions always speak louder than words.
So I give credit to the fathers that come around in their own way and make an effort (my father in law is one). That goes a long way in my book. Still, it’s not a perfect system because those fathers, who were not there as fathers should be growing up, become strangers. And although I can stand back and applauded the effort and appreciate the sentiment that some fathers take late in life- trying to be better and all-it doesn’t guarantee that we will like you. The penalty of not being there when we were young is that we will not be there for when you are old. Being there is what family does, blood or not.
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